a poorly thought-out plan

Take the cheap plastic compass that got me through sophomore-year geometry constructions with minimal occurrences of "-1 point for accuracy":

And the cheap H&M tank top that is too tight and too small and had a hole:

(World, please note. I am not a small.)

Several t-shirt shredding tutorials later, you get:

Because the tank top is 5% spandex and those are the little elastic fibers.

I thought I would be killing two birds with one stone by 1) being painfully hip and shredding a top and 2) making a small shirt into a medium because shredding expands the shirt. But no. Spandex is a cruel, cruel master. And shredding a striped shirt doesn't look that great. I'll shred it a lot more and see how it goes.