Trying to be positive here.

The Perks of Going to Cal

• When you Google "L&S," the auto-complete form gives you "L&S Berkeley" and "L&S breadth," both of which refer to Berkeley’s College of Letters and Science. The first result for the search term "L&S breadth requirements" is Berkeley’s L&S. This is what I get for choosing such a huge school.
  
• When you Google "decal" it brings up the DeCal website first (Democratic Education at Cal), rather than something about car decorations.
• Cal has DeCal classes like “James Bond: Politics, Pop Culture, Hero,” “Bookworlds: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Analysis,” and "{design.},” and “How to Get 5 A+’s and 5 A’s During 1 Calendar Year at UCB.”
• Huge, anonymous student body means no need to always be mentally present.
• I can BART home.
• Asian parents like it.
• No hand-holding, unlike that Asian American Studies class I took at City College.
  

The Downsides of Going to Cal

• Still socially bored.
• I’m pretty sure my soul is dying.