Maybe the point is that this year is better because boys are an option now that I'm done learning how to get along with life, and I cannot live without boys. Anyway.
Autumn is a-coming in, but all I can think of is winter. Every imaginable pair of tights and caramel apple spice and mint M&Ms and coats and cardigans and scarves and peppermint and hot chocolate and knee socks and mittens and dark lips and cold, biting air.
I feel that I am at a personal crossroads. In terms of everything. How I spend my free time. How I fit as a part of my family. Who I choose to spend my time with. What I want to hold on to. What is actually important to me. What kind of decisions scare me now.
I also feel like one of those kids who hit their prime in high school.
Thoughts:
- Learning to love absolves everything. I was right when I was 14 and wrote that "Forgiveness and communication are everything." Live by it.
- There is no reason I need to limit myself to how amazing I was in high school because to be honest, I wasn't all that amazing.
- In many ways, awkward is more delicious than suave.
- I think Danica is completely right on this one: the more potential you have, the more your instructor will push you. The key is to keep in mind that that criticism is for your own good.
- Most days, my life feels like one big to-do list that is never going to get done. And I definitely get more satisfaction out of crossing items off my list than actually going through the process of completing them. This probably says something about how I view life.
- I am one of those people who tries really hard to look like I don't care about anything but I think I probably care too much about everything.
- Also from my 14-year-old self, who sounds a lot wiser than I remember being, "Look good outside, feel good inside" and "Make sure you are doing things for the right reasons."
- And what may be my most genius words ever,
"If you want something, make sure you can have it."
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