sleepyhead

I was looking at SongMeanings for Passion Pit's "Sleepyhead" and getting really confused about the interpretations people were giving. I don't see why people even bother to argue. To me, it's really obvious what this song is about.
And everything is going to the beat
And everything is going to the beat
And everything is going

This is about sex. The rhythm and finish are imitative of sex. Duh.
And you said
It was like fire around the brim
Burning solid
Burning thin the burning rim
Like stars burning holes right through the dark
Flicking fire like saltwater into my eyes
You were one inch from the edge of this bed
I drag you back a sleepyhead, sleepyhead

This is about losing virginity and things tearing, and the girl in this hetero sex act getting a UTI because her partner dragged her back into bed when she was going to go pee. The burning is the burning sensation in her urinary tract. Duh.
They couldn't think of something to say the day you burst
With all their lions and all their might and all their thirst
They crowd your bedroom like some thoughts wearing thin
Against the walls against your rules against your skin
My beard grew down to the floor and out through the doors
Of your eyes but go in disguise like a sleepyhead, sleepyhead
This is the part where the guy reveals that they're actually Christians under Roman Rule, about to be persecuted and thrown to the lions. Unfortunately, the girl dies from her UTI and bursts open in an explosion of guts and flesh so vulgar that the vicious Romans will have nothing to say when they come into the bedroom and find her body. In fact, they will be so appalled, they will back away from the bed and press themselves into the walls in an attempt to get as far away as possible. Then the guy, after she dies, admits that he will put on a fake a beard to escape Roman persecution and leave her there, dead, looking like she is feigning sleep, to save himself. Duh.
Go ahead
And this is when the guy regrets everything he's done so far and tries to apologize to his girl posthumously by telling her to go ahead and use the bathroom because the UTI isn't worth it and he'd rather die with her than be alive without her. It's so romantic. Duh.

[DISCLAIMER: Sorry. This is not fashion-related or serious. It's just that I recently realized that I really like the lyrics to the song but have no idea what they mean.]
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