Things I Love: February 2011

Yo, March, I’m really happy for you, and I’mma let you finish, but February came bearing some of the best gifts of all time. OF ALL TIME (...what if Mary had said that to the wise men about the angel Gabriel while gesturing to the baby Jesus lying in his manger? WHAT IF?):
  • hot almond milk tea
  • getting a huge writing itch, which hasn’t happened in years
  • Lincoln
  • when you are cold and expect the tap to run freezing cold but it runs warm instead
  • my uncle for a curry delivery
  • Jesse Eisenberg in Holy Rollers, which, of the Jesse performances I’ve seen, is probably my favorite. He absolutely breaks my heart in this movie. Especially in the tefillin scene. (Which, uh, I straight-up cried at.) If this movie were a tumblr post, I would tag it with #Jesse Eisenberg ruined my life and #my entire life and #my name is Samantha and I am a child divorced from the religious community I was raised in and #hi samantha.


I am not gritting my teeth, and my eyes are not watery, because this scene does not get to me at all. At all.
  • free Netflix trials!!!
  • Mexican wedding cookies
  • this .GIF of Justin Timberlake, which I used in the first assignment for my web design class, and which I immediately recognized as being from an appearance of the The Social Network cast on some French show (it was the back of Andrew Garfield’s head that tipped me off, ‘cause GIRL, THE BACK OF YO HEAD IS RIDICULOUS):

  • Morgane, who is not an ambi-turner, and who said to me “You’re absolutely right” within ten minutes of our first class together, which was followed by a long pause, then my decision to screw looking cool, I was going to catch that Zoolander reference and throw it back at her whether or not that’s what she intended, with “It needs to be at least three times as big!” She then proceeded to ask me if I was bulimic and could read minds.
  • waking up and bellowing happy new year greetings to my family in Cantonese
  • blunch with Steven (you can either pretend that’s me saying “brunch” with a bad Japanese accent or humor my insistence that blunch is a very late brunch)
  • my cognitive science GSI who started our semester with a round of two truths and a lie and who has the best chunky-knit sweater I have ever seen on a man IRL
  • cherry yogurt
  • the film version of Never Let Me Go (embarrassingly enough, I haven’t read the book)
To be honest, I didn’t find this movie as sad or depressing as the internet had led me to expect, maybe because the themes of the story are things I’ve thought about regularly for more than half my life. That being said, it’s a delicious little thing, and Carey Mulligan is wonderful in it. As is Andrew Garfield, but half of the appeal is his character and how much you want to hug him until he feels safe. The costumes are beautifully lived-in and fragile, like everything this movie is about. I haven't even read the book, but I doubt the movie does Kazuo Ishiguro's story enough justice.



I love this song. (Dammit, this is on the top of my reading list.)

  • samosas
  • fried rice with green onions
  • the warm warm sun after the rain
  • Justin Bieber, especially for “Baby,” which is good for tween headbopping to
  • my mom texting me a picture of my grandma wearing my sparkly rainbow-striped legwarmers
  • fruit juice, served hot
  • BOBBY
  • Boy A, which, to be honest, is my favorite Andrew Garfield performance of the ones I've seen. It’s a heartbreaking movie, and there’s something completely fearless about Andrew’s acting in this. I can’t quite pinpoint it, but I highly recommend this movie if you want to see Andrew emote. Pathetically enough, even though I didn't cry at any point in Never Let Me Go, I started sobbing when Boy A ended.


This is a totally inappropriate clip in terms of how well it represents the mood of the movie, but LOOK HOW FEARLESS HE IS. (Equally inappropriate to include would have been the "What is that? What's a panini?" scene.)



By the way, Andrew Garfield won a BAFTA for his performance in Boy A, as he should have. (Although that was also the year Stuart, A Life Backwards came out, and Tom Hardy was pretty phenomenal in it. Just less heart-squishy and awards-material, I guess.) This is a clip of him completely astounded that he won. Your ovaries have been warned.
  • a hand-written letter from Connie
  • making [whatever the Mandarin translation of fun goh] is with my cousin while my grandma supervised
  • the feeling of taking off skinny jeans (or taking off your pants in general)
  • the Glee version of “Bills Bills Bills,” mostly for Darren Criss being ridiculously sexy
  • parmesan basil Wheat Thins
  • seeing a hummingbird on my way to class
  • blinc mascara, which is fantastic (for my needs). I highly recommend this for contact lens wearers and anyone who is looking for color, length, and minimal clumping (and is less concerned with curl and volume). I'm especially impressed by how ridiculously glossy this makes my eyelashes, which is kind of weird but also pretty. As a warning: since this is a tube mascara, it comes off with water and pressure (and basically doesn't flake at all otherwise), so if you forget you're wearing it and step into the shower and rub your eyes, prepare to have a What The Actual Fuck moment when you panic about how you got spider legs all over your hands before you realize it's your tube mascara coming off.
  • Jesse Eisenberg in Some Boys Don’t Leave, because JESSE EISENBERG WRIST PORN:

  • remembering that 2^10 is 1024 off the top of my head
  • one of my instructors failing (repeatedly) to pronounce “specificity” correctly


Oh, Inception, how incredible your meme-spawning ability!



Andrew Garfield's inspirigh- inspirily- in- inspiring Golden Globes moment, which the internet will probably never let him live down. To be fair, I think "inspiringly written" is way harder to say than "specificity."
  • NYX jumbo lip pencil in 721 Soft Fuchsia
Available at Urban Outfitters. This is so many levels of perfect. A pretty, natural color with an easy-to-apply texture that's somewhere between gloss and lipstick. The finish is creamy, which I wasn't expecting, since the last lip pencil I'd ever used dried my lips out. The fact that it's pencil form makes it hard to mess up, HENCE I AM A CONVERT. (Is it just me or... is fuchsia spelled wrong on the packaging? No, it totally is.)
  • blooming flowers
  • Cursed, an entertainingly cheesy horror film, which apparently goes under the genre “camp,” which I suppose I’m okay with, since I’ve only ever heard that word used as an adjective in the context of gay men, and okay, with that in mind, I’d definitely call this movie a camp movie. You should watch it because the cast includes Jesse I-Didn't-Mean-To-Turn-You-On Eisenberg, Christina Ricci, and Milo Ventimiglia, and it includes this scene, where Jesse Eisenberg also says "Yay, go gay!":

  • Andrew Garfield in Swinging


Wherein Andrew Garfield is flustered and adorable and so young-looking I would hit that.

  • The Living Wake, because Jesse Eisenberg is ridiculously, stupidly attractive in it, with his pomaded hair and fingerless gloves and autumn-colored clothes. It's a very interesting movie, from a writer's perspective (the absurd premises and stylized dialogue), but I wouldn't recommend watching it for its entertainment value so much as artistic value. That being said, Jesse Eisenberg is a genius with his lines because the bizarre words sound so natural in his mouth.


DARLING.

  • scrambled eggs with ketchup
  • my Ladefoged linguistics textbook because I read it in my head with a British accent
  • Andrew Garfield in Sugar Rush, wherein he is The Most Adorable Looking Creature Ever, Of All Time, But I Feel Like A Pedophile, Where Are You Hiding Your Fountain Of Youth, Andrew, Where:


Here's Part 1 of a 2-part compilation of every moment he has in Sugar Rush. In the words of a YouTube commenter, "...why did Andrew look 12 years old back in 2005? lol"



SPEAKING OF WHICH, Sugar Rush is where the above .GIF comes from. YOU'RE WELCOME.
  • Zombieland, of which elapsed about two minutes before I was laughing hysterically, as in the opening credits started rolling and I started snorting into my cereal. I realize that the premises for this movie don't lend themselves to high expectations for the actors, but I think Jesse Eisenberg is absolutely brilliant in this. Every single line and every single bit of physical acting he does is unexpectedly hilarious. Also, I now like Emma Stone, which is really fortunate because she's going to be the Mary Jane Gwen Stacy (sorry!) to Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker, and if it were anyone I liked less, I would be all rage!Eduardo. Here are the opening credits (OH GOD, ALREADY LAUGHING):

  • Adventureland, which really is “a very sensitive movie” as Jesse Eisenberg called it in his interview with Seventeen. A surprisingly unstupid movie about, uh, things that I think are stupid, which I guess says something about how I view romantic relationships. I was surprised to find that I like Kristen Stewart a lot more after watching this.
  • The Squid and the Whale, a really wonderful little movie about families, relationships, unrest, and our outlets for pain. I can't think of any stills or clips I want to include here, but I recommend this movie SO HARD.
  • STEPHANIE
  • Starbucks parfaits
  • handed-down jewelry
  • Chinatown, especially for wheat mantou
  • bacon-wrapped asparagus
  • okra
  • my uncle’s world-class curry
  • The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, because HOLY CRAP NOOMI RAPACE, I WOULD TOTALLY HAVE SEX WITH YOU AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE GIRLS. I haven't read the Stieg Larsson book, but I would recommend watching this either way if you're looking for something entertaining. (Probably not the kind of thing you can watch while eating, though.)


...Because the Swedish version of the trailer tastes significantly less cheesy than the English one. Not gonna lie - I'm really excited to see what David Fincher's going to do with this, but I know it's not going to feel the same at all.

  • tumblr, for being more reliable for BAFTA insta-coverage than Google search results
  • GAP Body for their fragrances (the men's selection)
  • my brother, who sent flowers home for Valentine’s Day
  • Minnie for letting me borrow her umbrella so I could go purchase a new umbrella (and fingerless gloves!)
Striped fingerless gloves in autumn colors, Pop Rocks, and the cover of my cheap-ass plaid umbrella that completely fell apart after two days. Seriously, I think watching The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus will make anyone want to wear fingerless gloves all day, err day.
  • blueberry Eggo waffles
  • emailing Liana
  • loose braids
  • tumblr for being the new buddy-system-on-AIM for staying up late to finish homework
  • hot tea to ward off greasy food nausea
  • Bella!!! who, by the way, is starting a zine, so you should submit something!
  • Goodwill and the faux suede coat that got away
  • “Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too” by Say Anything
  • “Alright With Me” by Kris Allen
  • Spenser, who spent his ski week watching My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic. Spenser is a straight 20-year-old male.
  • finally discovering the devil horns method of wrapping headphones
  • the feeling of taking off my contacts
  • the prospect of a hot shower and early bed
  • Maria Aragon's cover of “Born This Way”
  • Fight Club, which entails being thankful for David Fincher, young Edward Norton, young Brad Pitt, young Brad Pitt’s body, Helena Bonham Carter, and homoeroticism
Welcome to the Brad Pitt's Body Appreciation Society. OH GOD, I JUST WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THIS MOVIE and not just because young!bloody!nearlynaked!BradPitt is intensely knickersoaking, but because of Edward Norton and Helena Bonham Carter (and her clothes) and hello Jared Leto and FINCHER'S DIRECTING and oh God voiceover and Palahniuk's words and this movie is so quotable and so brutally true and UGH JUST MAKE IT STOP THIS IS TOO MUCH CAN'T I JUST WATCH BAD MOVIES LIKE I DON'T KNOW LIKE HELLBOY ALL DAY SO I'LL HAVE SOME INCENTIVE TO STEP AWAY FROM THIS SCREEN WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME DAVID FINCHER

...I don't know if I still dislike Hellboy as much as I did the first time I saw it, but I remember it was the worst movie I'd seen in my life up to that point, and as far as I can recall, nothing has beat it out since.
  • Christine!
  • successfully learning how to do a fishtail braid
  • Photoshop free trials for class
  • The Golden Compass, especially for “The Decanter of Tokay,” which is definitely one of my favorite first chapters of all time (right up there with the first chapter of Ender’s Game. Fuck yeah, YA novels!)
  • green onions
  • the Oscars, if only for the autotuned movies
  • curling up with a hot drink and smugly feeling like not a single fuck was given that day
As you can see, I spent most of February trying to make the most of the tail end of my Netflix free trial and appreciating men like your new Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield:

Andrew Serious Actor Headshot Garfield

Andrew I'm On Doctor Who Garfield

Andrew I Have A Personal Hair Sculptor Garfield

Andrew I Can't Even Garfield



Andrew SAG Awards Stankface Garfield



Andrew I Didn't Mean To Turn You On Garfield




Andrew TOMMY KISS ME AND NEVER LET ME GO Garfield



Andrew Sweet-Looking Brazilian Sophomore Garfield



Andrew I Honestly Deserve To Be Known As Bambi Online Just Like Jesse Eisenberg Deserves To Be Happy Garfield



Andrew This Scene Was So Hard To Shoot With 100-Take Fincher Garfield

Andrew WHERE ARE YOUR PANTIES NOW Garfield
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