Normal college students go out on Fridays.

For my first full weekend at school this year, I instead decided to plan my future. Because I am responsible.

Above, part of my to-do list.

Having reserved all of Friday evening for some soul-searching, I popped my contacts out, put away my textbooks and homework, and called up my mama for a two-hour phone conversation that involved me yelling into the speakerphone, pacing the kitchen, waiting for my pasta to soften, and overflowing our trash can with used tissues while looking really ugly trying to talk through my crying.

Friday is a good day to do this because everyone else is out.

My mom and I started going through the whole Berkeley catalog together, major by major. We got as far as the E's in the College of Letters and Science until my mama said something completely magical that ended in the waterworks that is me, and it was

and with those ineloquent words I feel absolutely absolved of every failure and bad decision I have beat myself up for since choosing to come to Cal.

Afterward, my lips were starting to crack and I was developing a huge dehydration headache, so I downed two cups of water, took a shower, and lay prone on the couch for two hours listening to music from Fantasia 2000.

So the mutually agreed-upon plan is.

Double major. Linguistics. Theater. Sell my best skills. (They're soft.) Be afraid. Stop seeking what the world thinks is the right thing.

Dear Parents,

Please forgive your kids. Endlessly. Because all they are looking for is your approval.
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