link roundup: for those of you about to rock

In case you needed any more excuses to procrastinate on studying for finals.

  • "The Truth" by Jenny Zhang: "In those two years, I recorded stories of my daily life on 90-minute cassette tapes that my relatives mailed to my parents in New York—little things like how I learned five new songs and how the teacher took away my red crayon and told me to use a yellow one when drawing a sunset over the plane I envisioned my mother boarding."
  • skeuomorph - "a derivative object which retains ornamental design cues to a structure that was necessary in the original" (e. g. the "Impressive, large-diameter concentric assemblages of black and silver 'hardware' encircling the tiny objective lenses on most consumer-grade digital still and video cameras")
  • The Shadow Scholar, via Hypsterism. Written by the dude who writes your thirty-page papers for a fee.
    I've written toward a master's degree in cognitive psychology, a Ph.D. in sociology, and a handful of postgraduate credits in international diplomacy. I've worked on bachelor's degrees in hospitality, business administration, and accounting. I've written for courses in history, cinema, labor relations, pharmacology, theology, sports management, maritime security, airline services, sustainability, municipal budgeting, marketing, philosophy, ethics, Eastern religion, postmodern architecture, anthropology, literature, and public administration. I've attended three dozen online universities. I've completed 12 graduate theses of 50 pages or more. All for someone else.
  • the summer of the unshaved legs over at Eat the Damn Cake. Because this is actually something that really bothers me.
    ...I never let the hair on my legs grow again. And years later, I wondered how I could’ve ever done it in the first place. I began to think that it would immediately identify me with a certain movement, a specific group of people. It would seem too political, somehow. I didn’t want to make a statement. That sort of thing.
  • Hey hey hey, The-F-Word, this is why I'm Team Jacob! (Yes, I've read that crap AND watched it. AND I like Harry Potter, Glee, Freaks and Geeks, and The House of Mirth. BRING IT.)
  • I Want To Be... A Mother! from Gala Darling's career interview series. This woman's responses completely redefined my conception of work-at-home moms.
  • Coated, a little mystery. (It ends in a cliffhanger, though. You have been warned. This is the most non-mundane, unamusing mystery about outerwear you will ever read. Ever.)
  • a conversation with yvan rodic, which I think captures how he appears to the public very well.
    Yvan is handsome. Not in the normal way, but in a very unreal way. He reminds me of a caricature - long spindly legs, a classic button-up shirt, Mick Jagger lips and the brightest blue eyes that I have ever seen, topped with hair that reminds me of a cartoon from the fifties - it just kind of poofs up over his forehead.
    YVAN: We are a bunch of douchebags, on the internet, trying to have fun.
  • isn't is pretty to think so? by Nick Miller. A couple spelling/grammar slips that would ordinarily be an automatic holier-than-thou window-closer, but, well, this guy is actually interesting enough to keep me reading. I mean, I'm kind of biased because he had me at "Catholic school is the goddamn worst thing for a young kid," but COME ON. OPENING LINES:
    Tatiana is a prostitute. I have been sleeping with Tatiana for nearly three months now and I awoke with her again this morning.
  • An interview with Nubby Twiglet over at miseducated. "...but life is meant to be lived. Setting anything in stone feels too rigid"
  • "All the lonely people" by Robert Ebert. The ending is a zinger, but here's some from the middle.
    Whether we use our bodies or a keyboard, it all comes down to two minds crying out from their solitude.
    I love to wander lonely streets in unknown cities. To find a cafe and order a coffee and think to myself - here I am, known to no one, drinking my coffee and reading my paper. To sit somewhere just barely out of the rain, and declare that my fortress. I think of myself in the third person: Who is he?
  • Success is a State of Mind: Talent is Tangible (and not to be compared), from Charade. "Sometimes you just know you are going to be a success: it's glaringly obvious, how could you not be?"
  • Why rejection is good for you - because I definitely believe you have to fail hard to see and solidify who you are and what you want.
  • On that note, J. K. Rowling's Harvard commencement address, "The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination" is still one of the best things I've ever read.
  • Going Commando at Forever Amber. "And yes, I did just write an entire paragraph about dog poop."
  • Come for the Pizza, Stay for the Deconstruction of Masculinity. "'From where I come from, you holler at a girl,' one student tells the group. 'A girl can't be too upset when a guy is paying attention to her.'"
  • Refinery29 put together THE greatest, most badass earring roundup I have ever had the fortune of seeing.
  • From The Men Who Wear Many Hats... ORGAN TRAIL, "a teaching tool to prepare children for the impending zombie apocalypse and dysentery." (If, like me, you played this around Thanksgiving and were frustrated at the total lack of features... it's called beta for a reason. They've updated it since.)
  • ANONCON FALL 2010 IS LIVE! It seems to be getting slower every year, but there are still a few diamonds in the rough. If you have nothing better to do with your life. (Read this kind of long one if you're a fan of AVPM.)
    when i was in middle school i burnt my arm on a cookie tray and it made it look like i had attempted suicide. my teacher sent me to a counselor who found out the truth, but i didnt tell my friends what really happened because i liked the attention. i cringe at the girl i was in middle school and high school. [link]
    My favorite children's book series was Animorphs, which had an interracial relationship. This is why I am The Most Progressive. [Props to interracial love.]
    You cause in me a spontaneous overflow of powerful emotions. Wordsworth step down, you don't know shit about my feelings for anonymous. [from this massive Want someone to talk about you? post]
    AIDSola [is it ok to swallow plastic?]
    I'm deathly afraid of getting stuck in sweaters... [link]
    Dear boyfriend, I like giving you head. I like flossing. But what I don't like is doing them at the same time. PLEASE TRIM DOWN THERE MORE OFTEN!!!! Love, Your plaque-free girlfriend. [link]
    i have a date tonight and it legitimately makes me feel like this: ["You Make My Dreams Come True" dance sequence from 500 Days of Summer] [link]
  • xkcd teaches you how to play tic-tac-toe (this is seriously epic)
  • Conan O'Brien's 10 Craziest Interviews, via The Frisky. (The Martha Stewart one has got to be my favorite, although the Stephen Colbert/Jon Stewart one is badass.)
  • GOD I LOVE MEN. I'll, ah, I'll have some Brazil, thanks.
  • How much was a loaf of Brad in 1975?

This is related to nothing. Maybe to the fact that I'm rereading Raptor Red, but... no, this is related to nothing.

  • The most amazing floral shirt I've ever seen. Like digital print kinda floral.
  • Keiko Lynn, who has had horses since the age of four: "...once you've received a pony as a Christmas gift, you really can't complain about anything. Ever."
  • guess the lighting - a photography blog by Ted Sabarese. This is pure fun to browse through because his guesswork is kind of genius (at least for someone with no photography background).
  • SolarBeat, if you want some pretty noises and an astronomy reference.
  • For those of us who remember dialup with gross clarity, a bit of nostalgia.
  • The Journey of a Jewel. Which aughhhh only stokes that flame of wanting to be an artisan or craftsperson or whatever they're called and feeling like I shouldn't want to because I'm at a public elite university.
  • If you're in the mood for some painfully cute romance, Just The Way You Are from Maegan.
  • I literally laughed out loud at this post from indietutes: the post with many links and a chicken. "Can someone tell me what the heck Big Red Chicken thinks he's doing?... It looks to me like he is actually trying to nail some strings to themselves, but a nasty case of the shakes is interfering with the process."
  • The Great Gatsby, according to Hark! A Vagrant. "OLD AS BALLS."
  • A female cover of Nizlopi's "Yesterday," which I realize almost no one knows. It's sweet, though.
  • Some song from Academy, because it's mildly catchy and Andy Mientus is in it (though I really, really miss his blond hair. I guess I have a thing for artificial blonds, Tom Felton.)
    It starts with just one leaf.
    It may not seem like much,
    But all those leaves when put together
    Make an auburn sort of rainbow,
    And it's all from the fall of one leaf.
  • Train's "Shake Up Christmas," which, yeah, is possibly the cheesiest thing in the world, but I've been waiting for something that makes me want to kiss the world and dance as much as those old GAP "Love Train" ads do.

Man... now it's Christmas.

  • If you're enough of an AVPS (or AVPM) fan to know "No Way," this video is pretty badass.
  • If you haven't seen this, you must not know what UST stands for.

  • A cover of "This Christmas" by TWENTYFOUR64. I'll let you know when I get sick of young men who can belt like prepubescent boys.
  • One of my favorite YouTube collaborations of all time: Wade Johnston and Julia Nunes sing Baby It's Cold Outside
Now c'mon, those finals aren't going to study for themselves.
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