Why I Love Marc Jacobs

Because, as a girl in the fashion design class I took once upon a time ago put it, "He makes the kind of ugly-pretty that I want to wear."

To be honest, when my tastes veer toward the ugly, they veer toward the really ugly. I think Marc Jacobs counts as... really ugly. While clicking through style.com, I WTFMARC'd every single outfit. Then, knowing I was just too plebeian to understand his point in a once-over, I scrolled through the collection again, and again, and another two or three times just to make sure I knew that

"It always makes me really sad when I remember that Marc Jacobs is gay and old enough to be my father because the man is FUCKING BRILLIANT"

Yeah, that about sums it up. Take the pieces separately and each one is brilliant (IN MY OPINION!). Put them together, and you're much likelier to go WTFMARC like I did, but there are still some genius styling options being presented. It's just so relieving after a period of STUDS, SPIKES, BLACK, LEATHER, LACE, LEGS, SEX, and DECONSTRUCTION to see something that's neither pretty nor sexy. 'Cause, guys, I'm so not that girl.

So here goes:

Above, a skirt that voluminous and that short under a belted jacket of the same color. Will be trying out belting my jackets and finding/making something short, voluminous, and entirely school-inappropriate.

Above, SATIN bra top! Hideous printed baggy pants! Open blazer as if to say "I hella know what I'm doing, back off, you just do not understand my pants"!

Above, textures here reminding me of Preen and of snow fungus, the color combo in the top half (dusty coral-rose and off-white peach), and the skirt length.

Above, this is wrong on so many levels. First of all, a fanny pack. And then Marc goes and makes it quilted. And then makes matching quilted pants. I don't know how I feel about the top because it looks almost normal aside from the scalloped bits at the off-the-shoulder neckline, but UGLY-PRETTY! I'm not going to be sporting any quilted fanny packs with matching shorts anytime soon, but at least now I'm considering it. And considering quilted things that aren't Chanel handbags, and shorts in strange materials.

Above, I'm wondering if the shorts are also knitwear like the cardigan, but either way, I find this kind of weirdly sexy. Which is not something you say about sweater-knit high-waisted underwear.

Above, this is so unflattering, but the volume! The belted jacket!

Above, to be honest, this is what my hair used to look like when I was doing natural waves. This is the first time I've been sad to have cut my hair (because I can't do topknots; nor can I do the Alexander Wang side braids, AUGH), but the scarf is SO BEAUTIFUL.

Above, more GORGEOUS.

Above, seriously. These scarves are genius.

Above, I don't know how this look is achieved. Something about the hems being encased in black stitching, maybe with fishing line or wire inserted, or something. I have no idea, but it looks sketchy and SO PRETTY.

Above, the neckpiece is like CLAM INCARNATE. The ruffly bits make me think of a giant clam, and the colors are like clam flesh, and the pearls are obviously clammy. And oh. My. Goodness. The colors of the sequins and the fact that they are FLAT. Sucker for detail. SUCKER FOR DETAIL.

Above, AUGH WHAT, sweater tucked into pantyhose, how can this look COOL? And satin bra-top. Yes and yes.

Above, the print of the shirt. Oh, wow.

Above, I am totally going to do this to a sweater and nobody will realize my genius.

Above, MORE GIANT CLAM INCARNATE! Ruffles, undersea colors, pearls! Darling, it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me.

Above, oh goodness. More giant clam/snow fungus, and is that belted pantyhose pulled over a ruffled top? Marc, you monster.

Above, more satin bra-top and belted pantyhose with shirt tucked in. I'm going to guess that I am never going to really attempt this, but IT IS SO CLEVER.

Above, Marc. I want to EAT YOU!

As before, all photos from style.com.
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